Dead Heat
by KelliP
Summary: 'A familiar prickle spirals up her neck, her heart already skipping amorphously. She turns and he's there. Her ex-boyfriend. Richard Castle.' 2x17 / 2x18 Tick Tick Tick… Boom! AU.
1. Chapter 1

I don't know what I'm doing back on here but let's just roll with it.

**Dead Heat**

_So how long have you two been sleeping together?_

**One**

"Hey. Beckett."

Her eyes lift from the paperwork on her desk at Ryan's call of her name. Esposito stands beside him and sports a ridiculous smirk on his face, one hand concealed behind his back.

They're up to something.

She angles her head and eyes them off with narrowing lids. "What." It's not harsh but it's not a question, either.

Ryan lifts his shoulders in a casual shrug, his voice honeyed. "You seen the paper today?"

She rolls her eyes. She was at work by six. She didn't have time to read the newspaper.

Instead, she extends one open palm and raises one eyebrow toward her hairline. "Just show me, already."

From behind his back Esposito produces today's news, already folded for her as he places it neatly into her waiting hand. The headline is bold in its print. Unmissable.

Castle_ Best Seller to _Heat_ Up Big Screen_.

Her heart surges in her chest, stomach already low in her abdomen, rolling in a riot. His book is being made into a movie.

"_You _are about to be immortalized on the silver screen," Ryan jests.

"Actually, Nikki Heat is going to be immortalized." Irritation sets into the lines of her face and she throws the boys a look laced with just a hint of venom. "Not me."

The twin grins the boys exchange border on ridiculous as they shake their heads. "So. Who would you like to play you in the movie?" Ryan throws out.

When she offers no response Esposito pitches in. "You know who they could get for you? _Angelina_."

"No." Ryan pockets both hands and rocks on his heels with a low, mocking hum in his throat. "I've got it. Kate Beckett, Kate Beckinsale."

"We could call you K-Bex!"

She tries to stall their protests with a sharp look but she doesn't even have their attention anymore, both lost in their inane behavior. She's hit the point of walking away (would they even notice?) when the phone on her desk bells, relief light as it rushes through her head at the welcome distraction.

"Beckett."

"Yes. I'd like to report a murder."

She reaches for her notepad on reflex and caps off the nearest pen. "Do you have an address?"

"Where's the fun in that?"

One click captures the boys' attention and she meets Ryan's eyes, no trace of humor left. At least they're not so engrossed in this Nikki Heat ridiculousness they miss it. "Okay. Who is this?"

"Oh. A fan."

Huh. Well, that's one she hasn't heard before.

Following Ryan's signal she speaks slow, keeps the caller on while they trace the line. "Tell me more about this murder."

"Well. I did it. And that's all you need to know."

x

She makes the morgue her first stop for the morning to save her taking a trip out later. Lanie is already in for the day and waves her over.

"The body isn't interesting but the bullets _are_." Lanie swivels the overhead glass to magnify the metal sitting on her workbench. "Check out the markings on the end of the slugs."

"After market factory stamps?" It's a guess of habit but Lanie wouldn't have called her for a visit just for that. She could have traced that from the Twelfth.

"No."

Beckett takes a closer look and her heart takes a beat of surprise. Oh. "They're letters." Hand-etched, too. "They. . . spell something?"

Lanie offers little more than a scrunch of her face paired with a shrug. "You're the detective. All I could come up with was _kinki_."

Beckett can't help the roll of her eyes. That's something only Castle would say.

Oh. Castle.

With her hands already gloved she reaches for the slugs, rearranging them until they make sense.

"Nikki." The name is a weight from her lungs as lucidity trickles over her, cold and unsettling. "Nikki Heat."

That's why he called her. That's why he said he was a fan.

"Kate?"

Her name is tremulous on Lanie's tongue and just a little brittle, a match for the tight knot in her own chest that robs her of air. Kate lifts her eyes, slow, finds worry creased on her friend's face. "What's going on?"

Beckett swallows hard to unstick the words from her throat. "He dedicated this murder to me."

x

Nikki Heat.

She's going to kill him for writing that damn book.

She thought she was done with it all. Publicity was starting to subdue. The novelty for her friends had worn off.

Then the movie.

And now this.

There's little breathing space inside her chest as she steps toward Lanie, her heart still skittering wildly, using too much air. They're at the Central Park carousel now, CSU working up the area after her team had called in the second body.

"Did CSU pull the slugs from the back of the carriage?"

Lanie nods her confirmation. "There were letters on the slug. They spelled W-I-L-L."

"So he's sending a message." Her eyes lower and her mind ticks over, already captured with the thought. "Nikki will . . ."

"What?"

Beckett bites the inside of her cheeks at the notes of disquiet in her friend's voice. "Thank you, Lanie."

x

The Feds claim jurisdiction. Of the evidence Ryan brings her, of the crime scene, and of the precinct.

She's in the break room now, surveying as they move around the precinct through slits in the open blinds. They walk efficiently and without nonsense and bitterness stings across Beckett's tongue as they shift aside the NYPD.

_This isn't a takeover_, the agent had said. Shaw, she recalls. _We're just more hands on deck_.

She'd wanted to roll her eyes.

For now she curls her fingers through the handle of her navy mug and moves back to the bullpen, coming to stand beside Ryan and Esposito where they lean against the latter's desk. "They swoop in quick, huh?" she murmurs to the boys behind her coffee.

For once, they remain silent.

"What?"

Ryan and Esposito exchange a glance that has her spine straightening even before Ryan speaks. "Beckett, there's something you should know."

She waits wordlessly.

Ryan sighs, the sound heavy with guilt. "Agent Shaw - "

She knows he's near before Ryan even has a chance to announce his arrival. A familiar prickle spirals up her neck, her heart already skipping amorphously. She turns. He's there.

Nikki Heat's creator.

Her ex-boyfriend.

Richard Castle.


	2. Chapter 2

**Two**

It hasn't been long since their split. A month, not quite two. Everything is still raw, her heart bruised from trying to forget him. The publicity surrounding Heat Wave hasn't helped. His face is everywhere – bookstore windows, late night interviews. And she can't even think about the article Cosmo finally ran on her just last week.

And now he's here in her precinct as if nothing has changed.

"Kate."

Warmth pricks against her cheekbones and her heart skitters to the sound of her name on his lips. She swallows it, keeps her jawline tense. "I told them not to call you."

"They were right to."

She'd agree if it were any other case. "I have it covered."

The light disappears from his eyes, just like that. "There is a murderer out there obsessed with Nikki Heat. With _you_."

Her eyes slam shut and she pinches the bridge of her nose. She doesn't need this. Need him, here. She can't think straight when he's around. "Castle - "

"You said it yourself, Beckett," Ryan sounds beside her. She turns her head, finds Esposito and Ryan standing with a complete lack of subtlety with ears pricked up high. "You said it's like he's doing this for fun."

She throws a venomous look in their direction. Relief swirls light in her head as they scamper away before she turns back to Castle, a weighted cloud descending again. "Look. I appreciate your concern but I don't need you tagging along on this one."

He doesn't even blink. "Agent Shaw said I can stay and help. No one knows my books better than myself, after all."

Except maybe her. But at least he knows not to give her hell for that now.

"Castle, _no_. I know a serial killer is the Holy Grail for a crime novelist but - "

"Yeah. You're right. It would be." There's no softness to his voice now, his words carrying a heavy weight that split open inside her chest. "But not when you're in the line of fire."

She shivers at his words and bows her head, the intensity of his gaze too fierce. Too passionate. He shouldn't get to look at her like that. Not anymore.

His voice dips low now, rolling with a guilt that leaves her heart aching for him. "If I hadn't created Nikki Heat - "

"He would still be killing," she interjects. "He'd just find another reason why."

Culpability sets fire on his face, a flare of heat that leaves them both drowning.

"Please, Kate." The softness of his voice makes her stomach flutter. "Just let me help you."

The walls in her chest crack as he stands before her. As if she's ever been able to say no to him.

"You'll follow my orders?"

He nods.

"You'll stay in the car?"

He nods again. "Of course." As if he's ever done that before.

"You won't put yourself in danger?"

Castle shakes his head. "No, no. Just - "

She heaves and holds up her hands. "Fine."

He grins, that little boy mischievousness already flickering in those blue eyes. "You won't regret this."

"I already do," she throws back.

He's quick to start scoping the Twelfth, poking his head through doorways and around corners, glancing over the top of agents' shoulders as they heave files into the conference rooms. "Certainly didn't look like this the last time I was here," he comments before glancing her way. "What's going on?"

She downplays it with a shrug of her shoulders. "Typical FBI protocol. They're setting up the war room."

"War room?" He sounds like a little boy who's just unwrapped a Christmas present he's been waiting for all year. "Shaw definitely seems on top of things."

She lifts one eyebrow toward her hairline. It didn't sound like an offhand comment. More like. . . impressed. "Have you heard of her before?"

He bobs his head. "Yeah. She's good. She's _real_ good. She cracked open that Hudson Valley strangler case when she was just twenty-five."

"I've never seen you so excited to meet someone before." She winces at the envy that coats her voice but he doesn't even notice.

"No, I'm just. . ." He rises on the balls of his feet, stretches his body around hers to increase his line of sight. "Can we go see the war room now?"

He's already gone.

x

Beckett follows Castle into the conference room where the feds have set up camp. The room is swarming with agents, in and out as they carry boxes of files and equipment she doesn't see how they can need. She finds Castle already talking with Shaw, exchanging ideas about the case, his attention captured as he listens to her building theories aloud.

She has to admit – Castle was right about Shaw. She's _good_.

It isn't long before they're carting in a box full of Castle's novels. Her head twists to his face, eyes expecting to see that charming poster-boy grin with an inflated ego.

But for once there's no smile on his face, his skin instead a shade of gray as he stares at his printed words.

Shaw takes no notice, instead glancing at her partner. "Avery, cliff notes please."

"A real estate tycoon is killed, Detective Nikki Heat catches the case and investigates suspects who wanted the man dead. There's a trophy wife, _of course_," Avery throws in, and Beckett doesn't fight the smirk that breaks across her face. "And there are mobsters. Heat's life is complicated by a reporter named Jameson Rook, who's following her around for an article he's writing."

Her stomach clenches in memory of their days spent together, here, at the precinct. It had been. . . less than fun when he'd first started shadowing her. But it hadn't taken long for him to wear her down (much shorter than she'd ever admit). And then it was –

Beckett lifts her eyes, casts them at her ex-boyfriend. He's already watching her, the same expression on his face that she's sure she's wearing now. Nostalgia. Loss. Longing.

She swallows hard and dips her head. That part of their life is over.

"Heat and Rook verbally spar," Avery continues, "and in chapter eleven admit their attraction to one another - "

Oh no.

" – and have sex."

Every eye in the room turns to her and her cheeks blister, a hot flush burning the length of her spine, breaking out across her skin.

"It's – fiction," is all she manages.

No one believes her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Three**

She's eating take-out when she hears the shift of old floorboards underneath a moving weight. Her heart stops for a second then kicks off behind her ribs and she jabs her chopsticks into what's left of her Chinese, forgotten as she slides it onto the coffee table. Each step is silent as she moves for her gun in the drawer beside her front door, lighter on her feet than the person on the other side. With delicate fingers she reaches for the chained lock, lifting it free, and then she tears open the door, fast.

There's a yelp.

Wait –

"Castle?" Something clicks into place and she realizes she's still holding her gun square at her chest. Lowering it, she shakes her head. "What are you doing here?"

Panting just a little, he holds up a bottle of red for her to see. "Wine?"

She huffs and doesn't move from where her body blocks the entrance to her apartment. "You know, one of these days you're actually going to end up with one of my bullets in your body."

"Accidentally or. . . ?"

She lifts her lips into a half-smile but doesn't finish for him. Keep him guessing. "You still didn't answer my question. What are you doing here?"

"I came to see how you were."

"And you couldn't have called?"

He quirks one eyebrow. "Would you have answered?"

Fair point. "I'm fine," she says instead. "I'm safe. I'm armed." She waves her gun in his line of sight.

He bobs his head. "Right."

Silence falls around them for a few moments, setting off her nerves. She doesn't know how to do this – how to have him care about her. Not anymore. Not when they're –

Her stomach rolls. She doesn't know what they are. Exes brought back together by a serial killer? There aren't exactly any guidelines to follow.

Castle pops his mouth, eyes drifting over her shoulder. "So. Can I come in?"

Her body takes a step backward before her mind catches up, heart tripping wildly in the cage of her chest. He seizes the chance before she changes her mind on him, moving so easily into her apartment as he's done so many times before. She closes the door behind him and slides the lock back into place but doesn't turn just yet. A breath holds in her throat, caught and tangled and it's another few seconds before she can finally exhale.

When she finally spins he's already in her kitchen, the bottle of wine set atop her counter. Her feet don't take a step as she watches him move around her home, opening the cupboard by the wall where her glasses rest, sliding out the third drawer down to retrieve her cork screw.

It's not until the stems of both glasses are pinch between his fingers does he finally look at her again. "So. Couch?"

She chews on the inside of her cheeks and remains silent but throws her head in the direction in an offer. Pausing beside her coffee table she waits until he passes her a glass and takes a seat with his back in one corner before nestling herself in the other.

"How are you handling this case?" he murmurs.

Her mouth presses into a tight smile. "Fine."

"Kate - "

"I'm fine, Castle. Really." She shrugs. "It's – unusual, yes. But I'm fine."

"You know Agent Shaw is good, right?"

The jealousy is bitter on her tongue. "Oh. Sure."

He quirks one eyebrow toward his hairline. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," she says lightly. Too light. Very unconvincing. "I just see the way you listen to her. The way you look at all of her fancy equipment. My murder board isn't enough for you anymore? Now you need a smart board?"

Castle scoffs. "Are you jealous?"

"I'm not jealous." She needs to stop answering so quickly, her haste too telling. "I'm just embarrassed by the way that you act like a ten year old all impressed with her data matrix. _Oh, it collates information so quickly, Agent Shaw. Tell me all about it_."

He shakes his head but she misses the smirk on his face. "You are ridiculous."

"And to top it all of you are now building theory with her."

"So?"

"So - " Right. She needs a legitimate argument. "You're supposed to be building theory with _me_. You're supposed to be on my team."

There's no hesitation before he speaks, voice low and rich with honesty. "I'll always be on your team."

His eyes are wide and deep enough to drown in and she suddenly stiffens on the couch, staring at him with an intimacy she's missed.

"We should never have broken up," he murmurs.

Swallowing hard, she dips her head and looks away from him. "But we did."

"But did either of us really want to?"

No. She knows she didn't. They just sort of. . . drifted. He was flying across the country every other day for his book launch and her caseload doubled when Esposito took an injury they just couldn't find the time for each other.

"Castle," she breathes. "Don't make this more difficult than it already is." He's crossing a line she didn't even realize they'd put up but the warning dies on her tongue at the song of her name on his lips.

"Beckett." She drags her head up, manages to do him the courtesy of meeting his eyes, so beautifully blue, barely a breath away. "Kate."

Gentle fingertips sweep across her cheek, sending frissons of delight and awareness through her, electricity firing across her skin, through her veins. Slow, steady, he leans in close, closer, until his nose flirts with hers and the heat of his breath washes over her tingling lips.

And then he leans in and covers her mouth with his and everything goes white.

He keeps the kiss soft and tender, a gentle brush yet it has her heart skittering. She hasn't been with anyone since him; hasn't wanted anyone else. But now –

Now. The stony walls of resolve inside her are crumbling, turning to dust that fills her with a lightness and sends her soaring.

Kate hums against him, curls the fingers of one hand in his hair as her blood heats up, drags him closer. She can taste the urgency drowning in his throat and she arches forward, into him, her body sliding along his. His tongue glides along the seam of her mouth and she can't help the moan as she opens for him. Her abdomen coils tight with that familiar feeling she's missed so much and she lets her slender frame be embraced by the shell of his body.

His lips leave hers to skate along her jawbone, down the length of her neck. Her head falls back to bare her skin to him and he finds her pulse point, sucking hard. Everything catches in her throat and her fingers circle the nape of his neck, knotting into his hair to drag his mouth back to hers.

And then suddenly he's jerking back from her, hands slipping under her thighs to grip her body and slide her away. Her eyes flutter open and she blinks, trying to come out of the trance, cheekbones burning.

"I'm sorry," he rasps. "I'm - "

She cuts him off. "It's - "

She doesn't know how to finish that sentence.

"You're right," he murmurs. "We shouldn't make this more difficult than it already is."

She said that?

Right. She did.

Her chest heaves and she rakes her fingers through her hair, trying to pin loose strands back from where he's dragged them free. "Maybe it's best you leave."

Her heart constricts in her chest even as she voices the suggestion. She doesn't want him to go.

No. That much she knows. But –

They can't.

He's already protesting, head shaking violently. "No. No, I'm here to protect you."

The air catches in her throat as she tries to speak. "You – what?"

"I'm here to protect you," he enunciates. "From the killer."

"Castle, you do realize Shaw put a protective detail out front?"

He levels a look at her. "Please. I know you sent them home."

Damn.

"No funny business, I swear." He holds up both hands with flat palms, an offering of sincerity. "I'll sleep on the couch."

She opens her mouth to argue that he really won't be protecting her if he's asleep but once she catches his eyes her argument deflates in her chest. Everything is so raw, so open and ready for her to see, the guilt darkening his blues and roughening the edges.

"Fine," she concedes. "I'm tired. I'm going to bed. But if I see that door handle turn - "

"No funny business," he repeats.

Beckett nods and rises from the couch, throws him one last look before turning away.

She closes her bedroom door behind her, leaves him on the other side.


	4. Chapter 4

**Four**

When she wakes in the morning, the bed beside her is empty. It takes her more than few moments to realize it's supposed to be that way. Castle is not supposed to be curled beside her, hair falling over his forehead as he breathes light with sleep, face half on her pillow.

Beckett wedges one elbow beneath her side and props herself up, the heel of her other hand massaging closed eyelids, dragging herself from slumber. She lifts her phone off the table beside her bed and blindly hits the keys to wake it up. Six am. Pretty standard.

Her robe hangs behind her door and she shrugs her way into it, fastens the ties into a knot at her waist. It's warm enough to leave her feet bare and so she shuffles out of the bedroom, washing her face with her hands, still a little bleary eyes. And –

Oh. Castle hasn't left.

He's in the kitchen, yesterday's crumpled attire still on his body, hair rumpled from sleep. It's – yeah. Okay. It's adorable, makes him look ten years younger.

She's missed this.

_Him_. She's missed him.

"You're still here." Her voice is light with too much surprise. "And you're making pancakes."

"Well, I was hoping for bacon and eggs but. . ." His voice fades as he catches sight of her face and the longing that's surely bleeding through the cracks. "What?"

Her cheeks flame and she ducks her head, swipes at a strand of loose hair falling across her face. "Nothing."

"Coffee should still be warm, if you'd like some?"

Her lips lift into an easy smile. "Sounds good."

They fall into an easy rhythm – she retrieves the plates and tops up their coffee while Castle serves up their pancakes. They eat in silence but it's not awkward like it should be. It's comfortable, like how they used to be, content with each other without needing to fill the gap with meaningless small talk.

"I've got this," she calls, jumping from her seat as he moves to fill the sink and wash up.

But he's Castle so he shakes his head, always the eager puppy to help. "I can - "

"Honestly, Castle." One hand takes the plate from his grasp, the fingers of the other circling his elbow to drive him away. "Go home. Shower. Dress. I'll see you at the precinct after."

He bobs his head, circling the spot beneath his feet for a moment. "Uh – yeah. Okay." His eyes scan her apartment for his phone and keys, finding them at the other end of her kitchen counter. He pockets both items and heads for the door. "Want me to bring another coffee?"

The hum in her throat vibrates to her bones. "Please."

Castle grins and twists the door handle. She's already facing the sink when she hears his yelp, the plates clattering into the metal bowl as she runs around the counter.

"Castle?"

His eyes are on the ground and hers follow, finding the missing body at his feet.

"He knows where you live," she hears him murmur. "Kate - "

She's already trying to wave off his concern as she reaches for her cell. "I'll call Shaw. Have her send the team over."

He doesn't go anywhere after that. Just hovers by her side until the unit rolls up not ten minutes later and Shaw a few minutes after that. He's still in yesterday's clothes and she's in her pajamas. Shaw doesn't miss it, eyes on both of them as she enters, a smile creeping up the corners of her lips.

The boys take note, too. It's written all over the smirk on Ryan's face as he shuffles over to her, half-hidden behind his pen and notepad. "So. Statement?"

She bobs her head. "Sure."

"Had you just gotten up?"

"Ah – no. I'd been up for a while.

Ryan doesn't bother writing any notes, one eyebrow quirked instead. "And Castle? Did he get up at the same time?"

Venom burns as she narrows her eyes. "No. I don't know what time he woke up." Not a lie. "He slept on the couch."

"And he didn't hear someone leaving a body on your front doorstep?"

The line of her jaw tenses. "Obviously not."

"So you two woke up, separately," Ryan throws her a look swimming with disbelief, "And then. . . what?"

"Castle made breakfast and we ate before - "

"What kind of breakfast?"

She pauses. "Uh – I'm sorry?"

"What kind of breakfast was he making?" Ryan reiterates.

"Pancakes."

He smirks. "Well isn't that domestic?"

"Ryan." A low growl rolls at the back of her throat. "Statement. Focus."

x

Castle's quiet on the way to the morgue, eyes out the side window as the city blurs by. They've already taken a detour to his loft to shower and change but even when he came back down to her Crown Vic he didn't offer much more than a _thanks for waiting_. She wants to know if Esposito grilled him as much as Ryan did – whether he said something that's thrown him for a loop – but there wasn't time to talk before with the FBI crawling over her building.

"Did Esposito - "

She stops talking as suddenly as she started, presses her lips together. Maybe it's not her place to ask. But his head twists toward her at her voice, one eyebrow rising toward his hairline. She takes it as permission to continue.

"Did Esposito say something to you?" she asks softly. "Because if he - "

"No," he interjects, voice lower than she's used to hearing. "He gave me a bit of a hazing but it was nothing."

They don't speak again until the double doors are swinging open in front of them to allow their entrance.

Lanie sports a grin she can't contain, her voice dancing with amusement. "Hey. Heard you two were making pancakes when the body dropped."

Beckett stalls her friend with a sharp look. "Nothing happened."

"Right," Lanie calls in a singsong voice.

Castle doesn't even smile.

Beckett nods toward the evidence on the table. "What have you got for us?"

Lanie flicks one eyebrow up but takes the hint, her gloved fingers pushing the slugs closer for them to see. "More letters. B-U-R-N."

Knots coil in her nerves and her blood runs cold to ice. Burn. Nikki will burn.

Kate swallows the vines curling around her throat and slides her eyes to Castle. His head is bowed, shoulders forward, a ghostly paleness seeping onto his face.

"Anything else?" she asks Lanie before leading Castle out when the M.E. shakes her head.

He's not okay.

x

They find Ben Conrad and he takes himself out of the picture.

Once they're finished at the crime scene Castle follows her back to the precinct. They start to wrap things up with Shaw, handing paperwork back and forward and discussing where to from here. With the FBI involved it means less paperwork on her end, which also means she's cleared to leave when the clock ticks to six.

"So."

Kate turns when Shaw walks away, finds Castle standing beside her desk. She presses her lips together and parrots him. "So."

"Guess this is it?"

She bobs her head. "Yeah. Guess it is."

Castle pockets both hands and rolls forward onto the balls of his feet. "Sorry again."

She raises one eyebrow at him and tilts her head to the right. "For what?"

The lift of his shoulders is subtle, as is the drop of his head, but they're definitely both there. "For everything. For writing Nikki Heat and for making you a target. For following you around, again. And for kissing you."

The smile blossoms on her face without warning and a light laugh shakes her head as he gives that lopsided grin she's missed.

"I guess I'll see you." Castle offers one hand to her to shake and she takes it, soaks in the warmth of his skin and the buzz it gives her.

Her eyelashes skim her cheekbones as she takes a moment before peering up at him with wide eyes, the words out of her mouth before she can swallow them.

"Do you want to have dinner with me?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Five**

He follows her into her apartment two steps behind, allowing her just enough space to keep her breathing steady. He takes a wide arch around her as she closes the door and slides the chain into place.

Privacy.

Kate shakes her mind loose of the thought and drops her keys beside the door. When she'd asked him to dinner, she hadn't exactly meant this – take out, just the two of them, in her apartment. But the words had rolled likes waves off her tongue before she'd really thought the suggestion through.

With her back to the door now she finds him a few steps inside, standing in the open space. She drags her lower lip between her front teeth and bobs her head in the direction of her kitchen. "Come on. Let's dish up."

He's silent as he follows her and she can't help but watch him as he moves around her space, finding two forks in her cutlery draw before lifting the takeout out from the paper bag. He fits here so comfortably - in her apartment, in her life.

When he looks over at her with one eyebrow arching up she curls her lips into a small smile. She's not sure what the end game is here and they need time to talk and work it out. For now she pulls on the cupboard handle her fingers lightly clasp and finds them two plates.

"Wine?" she offers as he starts to serve up their food.

Castle quirks one eyebrow, a taunt ghosting his lips. "You trying to get me drunk?"

Laughter shakes her head but she doesn't deny anything. "Red okay?"

Castle nods and returns his attention to the food. Stepping around him she opens the cupboard doors above the sink and plucks out two glasses before moving to her fridge. She finds a sole bottle of red on the lower shelf, something she started to chill just before this case dropped.

Wine poured, she's returning the bottle to the fridge and wedging the delicate stems of both glasses between her fingers when she turns and -

"Oh!"

Castle meets her in one step, slamming straight into her. The glass in her left hand tips back and the liquid is cool as it streams onto her blouse, drenching her from chest to her abdomen.

"I. . . thought I'd get some sauce," he speaks slow, voice dripping with an apology.

Kate pulls her wine-soaked shirt away from her skin and looks back up at him with innocence. It was an accident. "Start," she tells him with a loose gesture toward the takeout. "I'll just change and be right back."

Behind her closed door she tugs the blouse over her head and balls the fabric, tossing it into the corner before her eyes find the mirror. Damn. The wine has already seeped through, a deep red staining the cups of her pale blue bra.

She strips the undergarment off too and throws it with her top, then opens her closet. She hasn't had a chance to do a whole lot of laundry lately and so her clothing options are at the extremes of around the home casual and dressy.

Kate chews on the smooth skin inside her cheeks and considers. It's just Castle. He's seen her dolled up on date nights and he's seen her on lazy Sundays and he's seen her in nothing at all. She finally opts for a basic tank, her fingers on the hanger to pull it from her closet when her door is knocked open and Castle is surging through.

"Castle," she growls, throwing one arm across her bare chest, "What are you - "

"Ben Conrad isn't the killer," Castle breathes, a desperate waterfall, eyes wide and flaming in a panic. "The killer's _still alive_."

Wait. What?

_Goodbye, Nikki_.

Oh. God –

Ignition.

x

"Kate."

She blinks once at the soft call of her name but the room won't focus. Her head rushes, blood pounding at her temple and through her ears, lungs screaming for air.

"Kate!"

_Castle_. He's here. She turns, slow and bruised, his blurred frame floating above hers, one hand cradling her head and the other resting along her jaw.

"Kate. You're alive. Oh, Kate."

"_Castle_," she growls. "We've got to – "

"Leave, right." He bobs his head and slides back, gives her a little breathing space. Her head rolls to the side and she realizes she's on the ground behind her bed. He must have tackled her to the ground, used the frame and mattress as a shield against the blast.

Kate tucks her elbows underneath her back to push herself off the ground. Skin against skin, she looks down to find her chest is still bare from when Castle charged into her bedroom. "Castle, turn around."

He ignores her. "It's nothing I haven't seen before."

She's about to bite back at him but his fingers are already making quick work of the buttons on his jacket. He holds it open for her and she slides her arms into both sleeves, tugging the front tight around her waist. Time to go.

Kate curls her legs under her body and tries to stand but _God_ – her ankle is throbbing, a wild beat of fire. A cry strangles in her throat as she tries to swallow the sound. Must have twisted it when he pushed them to the ground.

Castle catches her before she can hit the ground and hoists her up against his side. "Kate," he grits out.

"I'm - "

"Don't say fine," he bites back. "Just – let me help you."

His arms are already bracketing her waist and she falls easily into the cradle of his body, drinking in his support.

"How much pain are you in?" His lips are at her ear, voice low and tender, and even with the flames licking around them she can't stop the shiver rolling through her body.

"A little," she admits. "But I'll manage."

He bobs his head once and starts walking them both out of her apartment, stopping every few steps to kick away some rubble. The air is scorching inside and it's a welcome relief when they're finally on the street, the night fresh and free of smoke.

It doesn't take long before the full crew roll in, the fire department and paramedics and their own team. She ignores her unit for now, ushers Castle into the back of an ambulance instead.

"Kate, I'm - "

"You don't believe me when I say I'm fine," she cuts him off, leveling a stern face at him.

He doesn't try and protest again but instead climbs inside and scoots to the far side of the bench before patting the spot beside him. "Humor me?"

A soft smile curls on her lips and she follows him in. She can do that.

Montgomery checks on them first, concern in the Captain's words, then Shaw, all business. "Beckett, Castle. How are you doing?"

Kate nods once at the agent. "Fine."

"What did you see when you came home?"

She sighs. She doesn't know. "The doors were locked and the windows were shut. Nothing seemed out of place."

Shaw refocuses on Castle and tilts her head to the left, peering around her. "And you, Castle? Did you notice anything?"

His eyes slide to hers before focusing on Shaw. "No. Just as Beckett said – nothing unusual."

Shaw pockets both hands and turns half away. "Right. Well, they've just cleared your apartment so finish getting checked over and then you can head up."

Beckett watches her figure walk away, held strong, determined. Just as Shaw enters her building Beckett catches sight of the quirked eyebrows of Ryan and Esposito, twin grins splitting open on their faces. She tucks Castle's shirt a little tighter around her cooling frame and ducks her head.

x

She's kicked off the case.

"You've been running flat out for days." Montgomery's voice rings stern, authority radiating from his tense shoulders. "You need to go home and get some sleep."

"Sir, I don't _have_ a home," she growls.

"You can stay with me."

Beckett turns at Castle, everything catching in her throat. Right. She's going to shack up with her ex-boyfriend. "Not a chance, Castle."

"I'm serious." There's something sharp and brutal in his voice that holds her eyes to his, finding nothing but a straight concern. "No funny business. My mother moved out a couple of weeks ago. You can take her room."

She's doesn't speak for a long stretch, the warmth of his home unfurling in her stomach, and her silence must indicate she's caving because he presses on. "It's a secure building and a familiar environment. It has to be better than staying at a hotel during a time like this."

Kate turns her head back to Montgomery, his face a stone. "Consider it an order, Detective."

Looks like she's going back to the loft.


	6. Chapter 6

**Six**

It's been so long since she was last in the loft.

Not long enough.

It hasn't changed. Still has that electric energy humming in the walls, a warmth of family and home curling in the air. The deep red throw still rests at the end of the couch and her heart skitters, nights spent curled up with skin against skin underneath the woven blanket now only technicolor dreams.

"Kate!"

Alexis beams at her from the far corner of the sofa, shimmering blue eyes welcoming as she folds down the corner of her book and places it beside her. She's caught up with Castle's daughter a few times since the split – a coffee here and there and lunch twice. She likes Alexis, always has, and doesn't pretend to be a mother figure or even an aunt but just someone outside the family. Someone neutral to turn to when her father is hovering a little too much or someone more mature to talk to about boys and friends and what comes after high school.

"How are you?"

Kate offers a simple smile and nods. "I'm okay. Thank you, Alexis."

"Well, stay as long as you need to. You're always welcome."

It's a sweet offer but it doesn't dissolve the awkwardness of moving in with her ex-boyfriend and his family, even if only temporary.

"How about I place your bag upstairs?" Castle offers, already moving to take it from her grasp. She murmurs a soft _thank you_ and releases the handle and lets him take the few necessities she managed to grab from her locker at the precinct upstairs.

"So." Kate turns back to Alexis to find her standing, hands on her hips as the girl steps around the couch and into the kitchen. "Something to drink?"

"Oh, I'm - "

"I was about to make some hot chocolate," Alexis offers in a singsong voice, joy bright as it dances in her eyes.

A smile blossoms on Kate's face and she bobs her head. "Sure. That sounds nice."

"Marshmallows?" Alexis lifts one eyebrow from around the pantry door.

"Duh." Kate grins. "So how's school? Not long until summer vacation."

Alexis hums and adds a few chocolate chips to each of their mugs, following as Kate leads them back to the couch. "It's good. A little stressful at the moment but I'm on top of things."

"And your friends? How's Paige? Has she - " Kate stops talking when Alexis shakes her head.

"She's still mad at me for calling her parents." Her eyes slide to her mug and she gives it a little shake before lifting the warm chocolate drink to her lips. "I don't think she realizes how out of it she was. I mean, she was _drugged_. She had to spend the night in hospital. How doesn't she see that?"

Kate covers Alexis' knee with an open palm and squeezes soft. "It might take a little longer but she'll come around. She'll see you did the right thing."

Alexis huffs. "But even if she does, is she really the kind of friend I want? One who doesn't speak with me for months when all I did was help?"

"That's a decision you have to make."

"I hope you made one for me," Castle calls in his descent from upstairs.

Alexis lifts her eyes to her father and feigns a smile. "On the counter," she answers, forefinger pointing back over her shoulder.

Castle quirks one eyebrow and lifts the mug, eyes scrutinous. "Double chocolate?"

Alexis scoffs. "Of course."

He drops a kiss to his daughter's head and Alexis folds her legs beneath her, leaving space for him to sit on the chase beside her. "So. What have we been talking about?"

Alexis levels a look at him. "We have more interesting things to talk about than you, Dad."

He turns to Kate then but she only matches Alexis' glare. "Our conversations are private. You know that."

A ghost of a childish pout on his lips, Castle hides behind his mug. "I think I'm starting to regret inviting you to stay here," he whispers pitifully.

x

The footsteps in the hallway are loud, as subtle as a baby elephant. She's not in bed yet – still getting ready, sorting through the few possessions she has – so she swings open the door and lifts one eyebrow toward her hairline.

Castle rocks back on his heels and at least has the decency to look ashamed. "Oh. Hey," he falters. "I was just - "

"Spying on me?"

"_Checking_ on you," he clarifies. "It's been a hell of a few days. Just wanted to make sure you were okay. You kind of slipped away before we could really talk."

A smile flirts with the corners of her mouth. It's sweet, his concern. Not overbearing. No. He doesn't hover but always knows what she needs, bringing it to her before she has to ask.

A fire lights in her heart, warmth boiling over. He always was that way.

When she lifts her eyes back to his she finds his head bowed forward. "Are _you_ okay?" she speaks soft.

"Yeah," he gruffs too quick. "Fine."

"Castle," she murmurs. "It's just me."

The curtain falls off his face then, all the softness gone in a moment, tiredness and a bone-deep sadness staining his skin, seeping into those blue eyes. "When your apartment blew. . . I thought I might lose you."

Her heart dips fast, stomach roiling at the thought of losing him, too.

"And I just keep thinking about what would have happened if I wasn't there."

She tries to crack a joke, take some of the weight off him. "You mean if you weren't there to ruin one of my favorite tops with wine?"

He doesn't smile. "What if you didn't hear the timer, Kate? What if you didn't _get_ a warning? What - "

"Castle, stop." She reaches for his hand and nudges her slender fingers into the spaces of his own, giving his hand a soft squeeze when they knot together at the knuckles. "You _were_ there. You saved me. I'm fine."

"Kate, I still - "

Oh_, god_.

" – love you," he breathes.

There's nothing left in her lungs at his admission and her blood is on fire, bright and burning through every inch of her. His eyes are so wide, so dark she could drown in them, and under his gaze everything melts away beneath her.

His hands find her cheek, her hair, fingers tracing the contours of her face and leaving electricity sparking in their wake.

"There's been no one else, Kate."

She shivers at his words and he cradles her jaw in his palm, tipping her chin up to him. Her eyes flick down to his lips, barely a breath away from hers. She doesn't even know who moves first – it's more just. . . gravity – but then their lips meet and everything is _perfect_.

The touch of his lips is so soft at first, almost a ghost of their past kisses. He tastes like chocolate and caffeine and everything she's missed. Kate hums against him and he swallows the sound, their noses flirting. But she can feel the power drumming beneath the surface of their kiss and she's just waiting for the feather wall to crumble.

His tongue glides along the seam of her mouth and she can't help the way her lips open on a sigh, vibrations in her throat loose between them. Her tongue rakes along his, hot and wicked, and he groans, broad hands bracketing her waist tightening against her skin, sliding down. When his fingers find the curves of her thighs she's flooded with need and she drapes her body over his even as they stand. He catches on quick, walks her back one step, two, lips never breaking their seal with hers.

When the back of her legs hit the mattress she pauses, coming out from the spell. Her hands find his shoulders and she eases him back. His breath is hot and gasping, steam on her skin, but there's a regret in his eyes that has her stomach roiling.

"Not here," she breathes smokily. Not with Alexis across the hall.

But he misreads her and turns as if to leave. Her fingers loop in his belt and she tugs him back against her, feels the heat burning low in her abdomen as their bodies touch. Long eyelashes brush her cheekbones before she peers up at him, wide eyes dark and pooling with desire.

"Take me to your bed."


	7. Chapter 7

**Seven**

"So. How is it being back at Chez Castle?"

Beckett drags her lower lip between her front teeth and ducks her head. It's been a week since Dunn was cuffed and the FBI abandoned the Twelfth and she's still at Castle's loft. Still sharing his bed, too.

The first morning had been awkward. They'd woken to Alexis' cries at her grandmother's return, heads knocking together as they'd startled at the sound. But then he'd lifted his head from the pillow to press his mouth to hers and she'd sunk into him, limp and unresisting between his sheets as he traced the seam of her mouth with his tongue and reminded her how much he loves her.

The second night hadn't been much less awkward than that morning. His mother had returned to Chet's and Alexis had retreated to her room to do some last minute editing on an English paper and it had been just the two of them in his kitchen, standing beside one another, both on eggshells. She'd finally muttered they were being ridiculous and had darted in to kiss him, tongue slick and hot as she met his.

And now it's been a week. She hadn't meant to let it get this far but there's something magnetic between them that she's powerless to, luring her back each night even as his daughter sleeps upstairs.

Alexis – she's a smart girl. She knows what they're doing, slipping upstairs at night once dinner is over and knocking her feet loud against the landing if she comes back down. It also hasn't helped she embarrassingly caught Beckett sneaking upstairs at five in the morning to dress for work three mornings ago.

And Martha's been in her room enough times in search of some extra clothes and a handbag she absolutely needs to know Beckett's really not spending all that much time in there.

Kate sighs and lifts her coffee to her lips, the liquid warming as it slides down her throat. "It's nothing, Lanie."

"_Nothing_ nothing or I-don't-want-to-talk-about-it nothing?" Lanie questions. "Because you know I'll drop it if it's the second but if you _do _want to talk, I'm here."

The barricade around her heart crumbles. "We slipped."

Lanie raises an eyebrow. "You slipped?"

She bobs her head.

"Just the once, or. . . ?"

Kate winces. It's been –

Well. She's had to wear a scarf each day this week.

"Right. So you've been _slipping_," Lanie clarifies, popping a bite of her bear claw into her mouth. "And. . ."

"And - " Kate shrugs. "I don't know. I'm not sure what it means."

"Well, what do you want it to mean?"

x

She drags her feet on the way back from the precinct that night, Lanie's words still pressing at her forebrain and a handful of apartment applications in her arms. She needs her own place again – her own space. That much she knows. Whether Castle becomes part of that space again. . .

Kate cards her fingers through her hair and lets her head fall back to the elevator wall, eyelids collapsing. She's missed him. Missed the way he'd been woven into her life – late nights at the precinct, rainy Sunday mornings in bed. They parted ways over nothing.

Her heart skitters, realization and a craving for _him_ in her life surging hot. She wants him back.

"Hey," he calls as she enters, the key to his home scalding in her palm. "You're late. Big case?"

Beckett closes the door slowly and takes a few tentative steps toward where he's seated on the couch with his laptop before speaking soft. "Can we talk?"

Castle's eyes find hers for a moment of study before bobs his head. With a few final punches against the keyboard he closes the lid and slides it to the side. He pats the spot beside him and she hovers for a moment in hesitation before taking a seat a little further away.

Her eyes fall and she exhales heavily. "Look, Castle - "

"I love you."

Kate startles, blinks twice. "You - "

"I love you," he repeats, a little slower this time but no less sincere. "Just thought I'd beat you to the punch."

She lifts one eyebrow. "I'm sorry?"

He reaches for her, broad hands delicate as they twist their fingers together. "I've missed you, Kate. I wish - " He sighs and ducks his head for a beat. "I wish so many things. I wish we could take it all back and start again but then it wouldn't be _our_ story, and I like our story."

He slides across the couch then, right knee nudging against her left one as the side of their thighs align. His thumb works a smooth pattern into the back of her hand, so tender in its movements that it has her heart singing. "I guess what I'm saying is – will you go on a first date with me again?"

Oh. Oh –

"Of course," she breathes. "Castle, I – of course."

The grin splits across his face and he doesn't wait before closing the few breaths between them to smudge his lips against hers. Power hums below the surface of the kiss, a delicious, narcotic feeling that leaves her on fire in compensation for all the time they lost.

She pulls back suddenly and levels a look his way, tone teasing as she feigns seriousness. "What if I was breaking up with you?"

Castle scoffs. "Please. I'm irresistible."

A laughs breaks like sunshine across her face, everywhere he's touching her deliciously warm.

"So."

Kate presses her lips together and parrots him. "So."

"Stay here?" he offers. "Just for now. Just until you find a new place."

She's still not sure it's a good idea but she nods her head, craving the embrace of his home just a little longer.

"I love you," she breathes again as she sinks into his arms.

She always has.

x

**Well, that's it. Not sure if I'll be back. I have a few other stories I've written over the past few weeks but once again the show has lost me so it's hard to maintain interest in these characters.**

**Thanks for the love for this story.**

**K**


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